The Bloody Elbow staff has made its predictions for tomorrow night’s UFC Fight Night 94 card in Hidalgo, Texas. Rather surprisingly, it’s a clean sweep for Dustin Poirier to beat Michael Johnson in the main event. Zane Simon is brave enough (smart enough?) to pick Uriah Hall to upset Derek Brunson in the co-main.

Note 1: Predictions are entered throughout the week and collected the day before the event. Explanations behind each pick are not required and some writers opt not to do so for their own reasons. For example, if Nick Baldwin entered all of his predictions on Wednesday without adding in any explanations, he has no idea if he’s going to be the only one siding with one fighter for any given fight.

Note 2: Phil Mackenzie has a terrific breakdown of Antonio Carlos Junior vs. Leonardo Augusto Laleco.

Michael Johnson vs. Dustin Poirier

Mookie Alexander: I know Johnson is on a two-fight losing skid — as contentious as the Dariush decision was, he sorta gave that fight away — but this is still a very winnable fight for Johnson. His boxing is arguably smoother than Dustin’s and he has been able to outstrike a guy as talented as Edson Barboza. Johnson has a nice jab and kicks well. Poirier is hittable and he’s definitely hittable early, even as he’s steadily worked on getting off to better starts at 155. Where it all breaks down for me though is Poirier just has more paths to victory. He’s got a great d’arce choke, possesses underrated takedowns, he’s got serious power in his hands and excellent combination striking. I’m a big fan of the way he uses the uppercuts. I just can’t see Johnson lasting with Poirier in the pocket and exchanging big punches without getting hurt. This will be a fight contested almost entirely on the feet, and I say almost because Poirier will hurt him and then make “The Menace” another d’arce choke victim. Dustin Poirier by d’arce choke, round 2.

Dayne Fox: Even though I’m jumping on the Poirier bandwagon in picking him, I’m doing so with massive trepidation. Johnson is a legit top ten lightweight whose loss to Beneil Dariush is more than just a little questionable while his other recent loss came to Nate Diaz. A motivated Nate Diaz. Johnson pretty handily took the first round in that contest before Diaz found his comfort zone and got into Johnson’s head. So why am I picking Poirier? Poirier is slicker with his grappling than Johnson — though I admit Johnson has shored up his submission defense in recent years — and has a power advantage. I’m also banking on Poirier’s gas tank to be improved from the last time we saw him in a five-round contest as he was a featherweight at the time. I do so with little confidence, but Poirier via submission of RD4.

Zane Simon: Slowly but surely, Dustin Poirier has become a very good lightweight fighter. He’s still no defensive wizard, but he slips more than he used to and he’s upped his output and variety on what has always been an underrated power striking game. In practice, Johnson and Poirier look a lot alike, movement heavy southpaws that work in volume, behind kickboxing fundamentals. And while Johnson is much more cognizant of his defensive needs, he doesn’t hit as hard and lately, against fighters who can match his pace he’s tended to fade late. If Johnson gives Poirier a fire fight, Poirier can probably land two shots for every 3 of Johnson’s still hit him hard enough to slow him down and gain momentum. Dustin Poirier via TKO, Round 4.[poiuy

Staff picking Johnson:
Staff picking Poirier: Nick, Mookie, Tim, Bissell, Dayne, Fraser, Stephie, Zane, Phil

Derek Brunson vs. Uriah Hall

Mookie Alexander: Yeah, I won’t lie, I’m tempted to pick Uriah Hall by KO. Brunson has made major strides in his game but still has enough recklessness when wading forward that gives me concern that Hall will counter him to death and hurt him. Hall still doesn’t react well to pressure fighting, but Brunson really surges forward with defense checked at the front door. I think Hall wins this if he keeps his distance and strikes at range, especially with his kicks, or if he can capitalize on Brunson’s aggression. Otherwise, I have Brunson overwhelming Hall and just getting the decision win through his wrestling and ground-and-pound. Derek Brunson by unanimous decision.

Dayne Fox: I’m totally with Mookie in terms of wanting to pick Hall. Every time a fight of his rolls around, I have the image of Gegard Mousasi eating a spin kick out of nowhere. If this was Sam Alvey or some other fighter who defines the middleweight division, I don’t give it a second thought. But Mousasi…. Nonetheless, I’m still picking Brunson. Brunson usually fights a smart fight and has the wrestling chops to ground Hall into the ground to pick up the decision.Brunson via decision.

Zane Simon: I’m going to be the chance bet guy who is super disappointed in Hall (again) when the “next Anderson Silva” looks more like the current Anderson Silva for the nth time. There’s a level of guys that Hall will consistently lose to half the time, and Brunson is that level of guy. However, I’m picking this to be the other half of the time, where Hall grabs that amazing, fluky KO win that sets everyone alight and makes them forget that he’s going to get out-hustled by Krzysztof Jotko somewhere down the line. Brunson is just so reckless, and while Hall hasn’t made any big leaps he’s slowly built himself to the point that he is a much more consistently damaging striker. He got outworked by Whittaker, but still landed a lot of clean, hard shots that looked like they really hurt. Against a less capable, but equally willing striker, I think that’ll be enough. Preparing for disappointment, but Uriah Hall via TKO round 2.

Staff picking Brunson: Nick, Mookie, Tim, Bissell, Dayne, Fraser, Stephie, Phil
Staff picking Hall: Zane

Evan Dunham vs. Rick Glenn

Mookie Alexander: Dunham has looked really sharp over his last three fights, and it seems he’s gotten over his habit of starting poorly. Glad to see Glenn in the UFC after his stint in WSOF, where he won the featherweight title. This is a tough matchup for him to take on short notice, as Dunham has underrated wrestling and very effective, multi-faceted, high output striking. I see Glenn getting picked apart and then Dunham will lock onto a submission for the stoppage win. Evan Dunham by submission, round 2.

Zane Simon: These guys really have a lot in common when it comes to gameplan and approach in the cage. They’re both willing strikers who use exchanges to drop into the clinch and work a stifling wrestle/grappling game. The difference is Dunham does it with more technique and consistency, while Glenn packs more power. Given Dunham’s durability and slicker hands, this should be a solid competitive win for him, but Glenn could change it if he gets Dunham’s timing down and starts clipping him coming in. Evan Dunham via decision.

Phil Mackenzie: Evan Dunham beat up Gleison Tibau in the clinch. Khabib couldn’t do that. Evan Dunham dominated Ross Pearson in the clinch. Will Brooks couldn’t do that. Evan Dunham the clinch god. Evan Dunham by unanimous decision.

Staff picking Dunham: Nick, Mookie, Tim, Bissell, Dayne, Fraser, Stephie, Zane, Phil
Staff picking Glenn:

Roan Carneiro vs. Kenny Robertson

Mookie Alexander: One of those close fights where I’ll give the edge to the better striker, and that’s Robertson. It’s not like he’s a devastating fighter on the feet, but he can certainly keep it there when he has to, and get the win on the scorecards. Robertson is basically the UFC’s Mike Pierce now that Mike Pierce has been cut. Kenny Robertson by unanimous decision.

Zane Simon: Robertson is such a funky ass fighter that it’s hard to think of him being technically better at something than a vet like Carneiro, but he probably is the better striker. Neither man has the best record, frankly. Many of Carneiro’s recent wins don’t say much about his competitiveness in a deep division and Robertson has a habit of beating fighters that aren’t really at the UFC level and losing otherwise. Still, Robertson feels like a safer bet. He’s more well rounded and he seems to have a great ability to adapt as needed, on the fly. Kenny Robertson by decision.

Phil Mackenzie: Kenny Robertson is certainly the better striker here. However, I have some questions about how well his wrestling and grappling plays. I don’t think he’s going to sprawl and brawl, and if he’s grappling with Carneiro I think his unconventional style might leave a few too many openings. Then again, Carneiro has been beaten by guys like Fitch in the past. Hmmm. Carneiro is certainly a better, more natural MMA fighter than he was back then. Kenny Robertson by unanimous decision.

Staff picking Carneiro: Nick, Tim, Fraser
Staff picking Robertson: Mookie, Bissell, Dayne, Stephie, Phil, Zane

Islam Makhachev vs. Chris Wade

Mookie Alexander: I have no idea why the UFC fast-tracked Makhachev to fighting Adriano Martins in his 2nd fight, but it sure didn’t work out well. Wade turned in a good showing against Khabilov, but still lost the fight, and Makhachev to me has the potential to be better than Rustam. I’m hoping we get some good action on the ground, where Makhachev shines. Wade can win this through stuffing the takedowns, which he’s capable of, and winning with his more technical kickboxing. If it hits the mat, I see Makhachev’s control and overall grappling being too much for Wade to handle. Islam’s takedowns are more varied and are really powerful, and I think that and his grappling will make the difference. Islam Makhachev by unanimous decision.

Phil Mackenzie: Two great wrestlers and… enthusiastic strikers. Wade tends to try and swag out with crazy stuff, and Islam just wings power. I tend to err towards the second as an effective skillset for a wrestler. More than that, despite his pedigree Wade hasn’t been a truly consistent offensive or defensive wrestler in the UFC, but has instead often lived off scrambles and weird conversions. Makhachev, conversely, is a great takedown threat, so I think he’ll be in the driver’s seat. There should be some fantastic ground exchanges, particularly early, but Islam Makhachev by unanimous decision.

Staff picking Makhachev: Mookie, Tim, Dayne, Stephie, Phil
Staff picking Wade: Nick, Bissell, Fraser, Zane

Maximo Blanco vs. Chas Skelly

Mookie Alexander: I’m not going to trick myself into thinking Maximo Blanco is going to come around and snap out of his streak of completely random nonsense that costs him fights on a consistent basis. Skelly’s going to have some nervy moments, but otherwise get the win. I’d like to think this won’t end in Blanco getting DQ’d. Chas Skelly by unanimous decision.

Phil Mackenzie: Blanco is one of the biggest wild cards around. You can only pick him with any confidence against people that he utterly, completely and totally physically outclasses, or pick against him if he’s fighting a brutally consistent high-level athlete. Skelly unsurprisingly falls into the large area between those two extremes. He is really really tough, though. Chas Skelly by unanimous decision.

Staff picking Blanco: Tim, Stephie
Staff picking Skelly: Nick, Mookie, Bissell, Dayne, Fraser, Phil, Zane

Gabriel Benitez vs. Sam Sicilia

Phil Mackenzie: Another one of the trickier fights. In general, Sicilia has faltered against people who have any kind of distance weapon. In this case, it’s Benitez’ nasty left body kick. However, I can also feasibly see Sicilia bundling Benitez to the floor, and Benitez scrambling into a guillotine. Still, Gabriel Benitez by unanimous decision.

Staff picking Benitez: Mookie, Bissell, Stephie, Phil
Staff picking Sicilia: Nick, Tim, Dayne, Fraser, Zane

Augusto Montano vs. Belal Muhammad

Mookie Alexander: This is 10% luck, 20% skill, 15% concentrated power of will, 5% pleasure, 50% pain, and 100% reason to pick Remember the Name.

Phil Mackenzie: Muhammad is fighting the really bad Montano out of the Bonebreakers team, not to be confused with the decent / average Montano out of the Bonebreakers team below. Perhaps he’s not that bad, but “Dodger’s” fight against Pendred was unforgivably execrable. Like Randy Brown below, I expect Muhammad to shine against an opponent that he can show off his gifts for timing and distance against. Belal Remember the name Muhammad by unanimous decision.

Staff picking Montano: Tim
Staff picking Muhammad: Nick, Mookie, Bissell, Dayne, Fraser, Stephie, Zane

Antonio Carlos Junior vs. Leonardo Augusto Guimaraes

Mookie Alexander: Oh god. This is the type of horrific but beautiful trainwreck middleweight fight that will be worth watching and not worth watching all at once. Umm … Leleco seems like more of a technical mess than Carlos Junior, who at least is a physical freak and can probably just hulk smash his way to victory. Antonio Carlos Junior by TKO, round 1.

Phil Mackenzie: “A fight! A fight this Saturday! You sir!” Old Man Franklin looked up in surprise, his reverie broken. A barker was waving a parchment in his face. “At the center of the fair today, Leites’ monstrosity will be battling some unfortunate soul!” He winked. “You look like the man who enjoyed a fight or two himself, once upon a time.”

Franklin admitted to himself that this was true.

“They say Leites hasn’t been feeding that creature of his, in order to keep him hungry for fighting! This poor fellow who is battling him doesn’t know what he’s in for, I’ll say. Why, even I’ve never heard of him.”

Franklin peered at the parchment the man was waving, looked closely. “I have,” he said quietly, surprised. Then he smiled. “Why, I remember him doing something quite special at this very fair…”

Many years past, Franklin had been walking along this road, when he heard shouting and laughter. A boy was struggling hopelessly at a group of other children holding him down in the dust. “Why don’t you submit us?” they jeered. “Too tired?”

“Get out of here!” shouted Franklin, and they scattered like birds, still laughing. “Are you alright?” he asked the boy, realizing who he was. He was one of Franklin’s students, and only one lad had a head that big. Leleko pushed himself upright and started searching the road, picking up coins scattered in the dirt. “I’m fine.”

Franklin winced at the Portuguese accent. “Son… have you thought that maybe being a Scrapper isn’t for you? Perhaps…” he trailed off at the fierce look on the boy’s face. “Never mind. Off to the fair, then?” Leleko nodded. “I’m headed that way myself. Mind keeping me company?” The boy looked suspicious, but nodded again.

The fair was as it would be, a cacophony of sights and sounds. Jugglers threw flames and clubs, meat sizzled, men fought at the center of small, brutally serious circles. Leleko pushed his way through, ignoring everything that a normal teenaged boy might be fascinated by.

He finally stopped in front of a great looming dark machine, made of wood and steel, with a single wiry man standing in front of it. The man saw him, and brightened.

“Ah lad, I see the Scrappinator has caught your eye! One of the most fascinating machines built in the great and generic land of middleweight! You sir!” he spotted Franklin, “Would you want to try the Scrappinator? Know you its story?” Franklin shook his head. The man took a deep breath.

“One of Carwin the Mad Titan’s follies was a quest to find the roots of Scrappiness, and this wondrous machine is what he built!” He waved his arm. “Two definitions did he find for what makes a Scrapper- a slow starting, and the ability to absorb punishment. Thus, any of those who go within this machine find themselves assailed! Assaulted on all sides by blows delivered by padded wooden bludgeons, driven by clockwork and steam and sundry mechanical wizardry! Only the very Scrappiest will be able to withstand the punishment they deliver… and yet! Here was Carwin’s genius! Those within can end the punishment at any time by striking back, and hitting a single paddle with a face marked upon it. How slow a starter are you? How hittable can you possibly be? Do you want to find out, sir?”

“…I want to try,” interrupted Leleko.

“You? You’re just a boy.” said the man. “…and, pardon my rudeness, you don’t sound much like a Scrapper.”

“My money’s as good as any man’s,” said Leleko, scowling, and thrust out a fistful of coins. His hand shook only slightly.

The man shrugged. “On your head be it, lad. But remember, you can stop the machine whenever you want to. Just… fight back. No shame in it. I’ve seen strong men go in there and give up after a minute.”

He opened the door to the machine. Leleko swallowed, and stepped inside. The man shut the door, flipped a small hourglass upside down, and turned a crank at the side of the machine. It whirred to life. Franklin heard hissing sounds, clanks and thuds from within, and the man saw him looking at the hourglass as the sand drained.

“A minutes worth of sand.” he said. “The boy won’t last that long.”

But he did. Soon, the man flipped the glass over. Shortly, he had to flip it again. And again. The machine thumped and clanked and steam rose into the air.

Eventually, it stopped. Franklin had counted seven turns of the hourglass. The man opened the door, and Leleko tottered out. Blood was trickling out of his nose.

“I’m… a real Scrapper,” whispered Leleko.

The man looked shocked. Then he laughed. “I see, lad. You found some way of hiding inside the machine. Clever. But Carwin was a clever giant. too. He thought of that and more. The machine … records all that happens within it; in order to grant he who uses it a Defennse Rayting. If you wait a moment…”

Slowly a piece of parchment unfurled from a slot on the machine. The man took the paper and studied it. His face turned white. “You think this is funny?” he said to Leleko. “Playing games… playing tricks on me?”Leleko looked dizzy, tired. “Sir… I…”

“Come with me,” snarled the man, and grabbed Leleko by the arm, pulled him away into the crowd. “We’ll see what the Watsons think of your tricks.”

The parchment fluttered to the ground and Franklin walked over, picked it up. It had words and numbers printed on it by some unimaginable Titan science. “Strykes throwne. Strykes landed.”

At the bottom, a single statement, “Defensse Rayting”, and next to it a small, perfect O.

Years later, Franklin looked again at the parchment the man was showing him. “The Shoe-Faced Titan against Hugehead Leleko, the Most Hittable Man Alive!” it proclaimed.

“Yes, I’ve heard of him,” he said. “He’s a real Scrapper. Mark my words.”

Antonio Carlos Junior by submission, round 1

Staff picking Carlos Junior: Nick, Mookie, Tim, Bissell, Dayne, Fraser, Stephie, Phil, Zane
Staff picking Guimaraes:

Joey Gomez vs. Jose Alberto Quinonez

Phil Mackenzie: One of the harder matchups to pick on the card. Gomez has a lot of power and a sizable reach advantage against almost every bantamweight he’s going to fight, apart from Rob Font of course. Go Cheater Arms! Joey Gomez by unanimous decision.

Staff picking Gomez: Nick, Mookie, Tim, Bissell, Dayne, Fraser, Stephie, Zane
Staff picking Quinonez:

Randy Brown vs. Erick Montano

Phil Mackenzie: The better Montano seems outmatched here in a fight between two guys who got outgrappled in their last fights. Brown has a great gift for understanding distance, and is bigger, more athletic and hits much harder. Randy Brown by TKO, round 2.

Staff picking Brown: Nick, Mookie, Tim, Bissell, Dayne, Fraser, Stephie, Phil, Zane
Staff picking Montano:

Albert Morales vs. Alejandro Perez:

Phil Mackenzie: Morales is talented and young, but so is Perez, who also has much more valuable experience and has been steadily proving himself against a surprisingly diverse crop of skillsets. Alejandro Perez by unanimous decision.

Staff picking Morales: Nick, Tim, Stephie
Staff picking Perez: Mookie, Bissell, Dayne, Fraser, Phil, Zane